Last night Kamryn got into a bit of trouble right before bed.  She pushed her brother off the ottoman and while I don’t think she was trying to hurt him, but was a little overly excited, I told her she needed to apologize to him.  After some screaming, shouting and a fairly valid attempt at locking me out of her room, things settled down and all seemed back to normal.

However, this morning, I think Kamryn was seeking revenge on her disciplinarian.  She appeared to be the sweet little girl that she usually is, but then she pulled out the big guns.  Passive aggressive insults.  Now, I’m not a moron, I know that my nearly 5 year old wasn’t plotting out ways to crush my self esteem, but if she realizes how close she could have come to actually doing it, I am in for a world of hurt for when those teenage years hit.

Her first jab started off by asking me if I would like some water.  I told her I was going to have another cup of coffee instead and she put one hand on her hip and said “Well, aren’t you going to work out today?”  For the record, I work out every other day and I ran yesterday.  I told her I wasn’t going to work out and she replied with a hugely judgmental “Oh.”

I brushed it off and went on with my morning duties.  It was a bit chilly this morning so I put on some leggings and a longer shirt instead of my typical shorts and tank top combo.  The minute I stepped in the living room, Kamryn got this really excited look on her face and said “Oh, Mommy, you look pregnant!”  Seriously?  Pregnant?  Kamryn is really into babies lately.  She loves that her friends have infant siblings that she gets to hold.  I also know she would love it if Rory was still a baby or if I had another baby, but neither of those things are going to happen.

I just paused to take a couple of pictures of what I have on today to prove that I do not appear to be “with child” and as it turns out, Kamryn was right.  This is a hugely unflattering outfit I have on.  Normally, I wouldn’t care, but this is so bad that I think I may get asked by strangers when the baby is due.

The last straw was while I was sweeping off the deck.  The kids wanted to play with a slide that has been in the storage closet since we moved and I finally cleaned off enough space for them to play with it.  The detergent bottle had dripped down the front so I was cleaning it off when Kamryn said “You do such a good job cleaning.  I wish you could clean everyday!” 

So to summarize, I’m lazy, look like I’m eating for two, and don’t keep a clean household. 

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