I have a 5 year old little girl and a very soon to be 3 year old little boy.  As a full time mom (what a stupid expression) rather a woman that is around her children all day, I have found myself doing things I swore I would never do.  Like using my hand to wipe snot off my kid’s face and then wiping that snot on my pants.  Or eating that last bite of super soggy cookie that my child fell asleep with in their hand on the way home from somewhere.

More than just doing things I find odd or disgusting, I find myself saying things that shock me.  Some phrases are just bizarre and for some reason, last week was chock full of these odd snippets of conversation that are still making me giggle.

I am choosing to not elaborate on the context in which these were said because that’s like having to explain a joke.  Go ahead and try to figure out what I was talking about – I will tell you this, each and every one was said to Rory.

• I’m pretty sure goldfish don’t want to live in your eye.
• Can you think of a better name than Super Nipples?
• How many times do I have to tell you that Mommy doesn’t have a penis?
• Do you think you would like to eat blood?
• Get in Sissy’s hole!

The last one was said in mixed company, so my friend, Janis, and really anyone else within earshot, got to enjoy that one.  I did kind of yell it too.