The Most Ridiculous Product

Last Christmas my brother and I wandered around the mall trying to figure out what to get my parents for a gift.  He had vetoed my idea of giving them pictures of my kids because that didn’t help him out.  I suggested he go find himself a wife and have some kids of his own and then we would all win.  He didn’t concur.

Each year I have a hard time buying gifts for my parents because they will never give me valid gift ideas.  They always start off with “We don’t need anything.”  And after pressing and insisting they give me ideas, I’ll get a list consisting of things like socks, pot holders or some brand spankin’ new steak knives (all things I have purchased as gifts for my parents in the past).

We had finally settled on a Nook, but before we determined that as the perfect gift, we browsed in Brookstone.  Brookstone markets itself as a place to find “unique gifts and smart solutions”.  Hmmm  That’s being awfully generous.

On this particular trip I came across something that I could not explain.  It literally made no sense to me at all.  I held it in my hand, turning it over and over looking for the little statement that said *For Entertainment Purposes Only, but there wasn’t one.

Cellphone and Bluetooth Receiver

I’m sure everyone can identify both items.  On the left is a cellphone and on the right is an old school landline telephone handset.  The handset is a bluetooth.  Huh?  So, I need to carry around something bigger than my cellphone, replicating the thing that no one uses anymore in order to use the more advanced technology?  Well OK!  Sign me up!

Let’s just pretend that the inventor of this gadget intended it purely as a joke.  Granted, it’s a joke I definitely don’t get.  I find it confusing.  I felt a little like the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.  I’m just a caveman, your strange inventions frighten and confuse me.  I used to think the Oakley’s with the built in bluetooth had a douche factor of about 11 on a 10 point scale, but clearly, I was mistaken.  Can you imagine coming across someone talking on this phone?  They most certainly would be attempting to draw as much attention to themselves as possible which would equate to EXTREMELY loud talking and proclaiming things like “YEAH, DUDE, I’M HEADING TO HOOTER’S ‘CAUSE THEIR WINGS ARE AWESOME AND I’M TOTALLY GOING TO TALK ON THIS PHONE THE WHOLE TIME.  IT’S GOING TO BE EPIC.”




4 thoughts on “The Most Ridiculous Product

  1. Hilarious. The old-fashioned handset might be more comfortable than a cell phone to squeeze between your ear and your shoulder while you’re talking and changing diapers at the same time but…aren’t there nifty little bluetooth things you can just stick in your ear instead? Although…now that you mention it, I’m tempted to get one for Christmas for MY father, who actually owns the only table-top dial phone still in existence…and uses it. Thanks for the hot tip!

    • Ok – you make a good point with it being easier to hold sans hands, but instead, yes, I do believe you should be using the completely hands-free product that they offer that fits snugly in your ear. If you got this for your dad and he understood how to use it, I would be impressed. I’m a little embarrassed to say I didn’t full understand bluetooth technology until about 2 years ago and I used to work for one of the leading cell phone technology companies in the world.

  2. LOL I’m playing catch up so sorry for the late response… had to drive home from St Louis on Friday and then today I had the good fortune to reconnect with an old friend 🙂

    Anyway… I’m kinda reminded of Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon when he uses his ‘mobile” brick-like phone to call someone and tell them how nuts Mel Gibson is… which actually turned out to be quite prophetic…

    I saw a moron in the mall today… he thought he was cool… it was very cloudy outside, but all the same he had these big, black shades on… in the mall… with these big, black headphones stuck to his ears… and he was wandering around like superfly guy….

    I nearly pointed him out to James but I shouldn’t really encourage James to mock others… so I just mentally laughed instead…

  3. I have an acquaintance in advertising who I’m sure would buy AND use one of these… otherwise I can’t really see the point…

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