Yesterday Kamryn earned her 15 Mile ribbon for running club.  That was the big one because at 15 miles they get a free pass to The Birch Aquarium.  It’s the one thing that Kamryn has been working for all year.  When I picked her up from school yesterday, the minute I saw her, her lip started quivering.  She had her 15 mile ribbon pinned to her shirt so I really had no idea what she could be so upset about.

By the time she got to me, she was in a full blown cry and was trying to get out that she didn’t get her aquarium pass.  Uh-oh.  Kamryn’s teacher has been out the last couple of weeks recovering from surgery so the kids have had a substitute, Mrs. D.  Obviously, there is an infinite amount of information to pass on regarding the daily goings on of a class of 23 five year olds.  Just keeping track of all the crazy kids is more work than any one person should have to endure.  Mrs. D felt so bad and was apologizing because she didn’t know anything about it – I felt more bad for Mrs. D than I did for Kamryn!  Anyway, I had promised Kamryn a necklace once she had reached her 15 mile goal so I told her we would go pick that out later that afternoon to settle her down.

Once we got to the store, Kamryn sat looking at about 20 different necklaces trying to pick out just one.  Meanwhile, Rory was wandering around looking at toys and asking what I was going to get for him.  I couldn’t leave the store without getting something for both kids even though Rory hadn’t run 15 miles, which Kamryn had no problem reminding him of repeatedly.

There was a little display by the register with these little fuzzy creatures that “magically” jumped and slithered around – they even had a video showing the tricks they could do.  These little things were called Squirmles and came in a bunch of different colors.  They were fairly cheap and looked like something that would occupy Rory for awhile so I let him pick out his favorite color of Squirmle, which yesterday, was orange.

There really needs to be an asterisk next to “They Magically Move!”

Once we got home, I opened the Squirmles and was immediately pissed.  I looked over the box pretty thoroughly at the store because I thought it was odd that these things could move around on their own, but I thought the “head” of the Squirmle was probably weighted and that was what was making it appear to move on it’s own.

Nope, that was not the case.  This was basically an overly fluffy pipe cleaner without the little wire down the middle.  What was magically making it move was the idiot that bought it.  Attached to the Squirmle’s head was the “invisible” thread seen all tangled up in the picture, and on the other end was a piece of cardboard that is supposed to go into your pocket.  You maneuver the Squirmle with the thread.  I did a once over of the packaging again to make sure I didn’t miss where it said that this toy was a huge farce.  I know I’m fault for being a little too optimistic about the workings of this little fuzzy worm, but come on, you can’t say that something magically moves without either putting magically in quotes or putting some kind of disclaimer on the box!  Especially when you have to pull it around with a string!

Congratulations Carl Zealer, creator of Squirmles!  You are the winner of my WTF Award!