I Did A Good Deed…I Think

Posted on November 26, 2012 by Amy

I had my first taste of freedom today after a week of the kids being off of school for Thanksgiving break. To say that the kids function much better when they have a strict schedule is an understatement.

I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to go for a run since that hasn’t been a priority of mine lately, but beyond that, I didn’t know if I should sit at home and catch up on some DVR’d shows, read my book or run errands. I decided that I needed to run errands. I had a check that needed to be deposited and a couple of things that needed to be returned at different stores.

I had finished my returns and had just pulled into the parking lot of my bank. There was an older woman walking through the middle of the parking lot so I was waiting for her to pick a side before pulling into a spot. I watched a man in his late 70’s or early 80’s get in his car and put it in reverse. I took a quick glance at the woman walking and she had almost made it to the curb and she was thankfully out of the way of any traffic. I couldn’t help but think of the South Park episode, Grey Dawn. If you don’t know it, look it up.

The shiny, silver Infiniti parked next to the man wasn’t quite so lucky. He started backing up and I was cringing because I knew he was going to hit the back panel of the neighboring car. Sure enough, the entire right side of his car rubbed up against the back left panel of the Infiniti, leaving a nice black scratch. He stopped, pulled back in his spot and because I like to think the best of people, I assumed he was going to get out and check out the damage. Nah…he tried to reposition his car and ended up pulling out and hitting the car again.

At this point, I had gotten out of my car and was walking towards the ATM while watching some inter-vehicular dry humping. I was also searching in my purse for a pen because it was pretty clear that the guy driving wasn’t going to stop, much less leave a note. I wrote down his license plate and I’m almost 100% certain that he saw me standing there writing it down, but he still chose not to stop.

Once I had finished my banking business, I returned to my car and began scripting my tattle-tale note to the silver Infiniti driver. I already was starting to feel kind of bad. What if my note somehow results in this man losing his license? And then I thought, Well, if that’s the case, he may have a lot of prior accidents and shouldn’t be driving. And then I started to feel like an ageist. But then I argued that he did hit another car…twice. And then I thought, It’s just a car! Who cares? But then I thought of how I would react if I came out of somewhere to find a big scratch on my car. Through all of my inner turmoil, I had written the following note:

I saw someone hit your car this morning. He was backing out and rubbed against your back panel. He was driving a red Toyota Camry (I think) I’m not 100% sure on the make and model, but his license plate is 6***236. If you have any questions, you can email me at…

After placing my note under the windshield wiper of the car, I noticed the United States Naval Academy license plate holder on the Infiniti. Hmmm, I wonder if this guy hit an Officer’s car!? I felt a little better about tattling. But what if the guy in the red Camry was an Officer? I had no idea what the hell was going on in my head.

I got home around 2:45 after picking Kamryn up from school. I checked my email and sure enough, I had an email from Susan. :

Dear Amy:

Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a note on my car. May I call you to ask a couple of questions?

My cell phone number is 619-xxx-xxxx.

Thanks again. That was very thoughtful of you.

Kind regards,

Susan

I called Susan and left her a message along with my number. Normally, I wouldn’t give my number to anyone I didn’t know, but with the power of the internet, I found out all kinds of things on Susan before giving her my number and she seems like a pretty trustworthy gal (and a previous dancer). She never attended the Naval Academy, though.

Anyway, Susan called back about 20 minutes later and was extremely grateful for my note. She was so grateful, she said she wanted to give me something for my trouble. I refused, but I’m a little curious as to what she would have given me. A cup of coffee? A check? A spa day? I wonder what a note about a car getting hit goes for these days?

Susan’s last words to me were, “Thanks again, Amy. You did a good deed.”
I’m pretty sure red Toyota Camry guy doesn’t think so.

Flashback Friday Hostess Style

Posted on November 16, 2012 by Amy

I’m sure most have heard the awful news that Hostess is going out of business. I haven’t had a Hostess product in awhile, but I have chalked up quite a few indulgences in my 36 years. How you eat a Hostess Cupcake is more of a personal preference than the underwear you choose to wear under your chinos. I preferred to peel off the frosting and set it aside. I would then break the cake in half and lick out the cream filling. I would eat the cake next and finally the frosting wafer.

I loved the two pack of cupcakes. Whenever I bought it, I would eat one cupcake with the intention of saving the second for the next day. Inevitably, I would eat that second cupcake within the hour. Screw Sprinkles – I like Hostess Cupcakes. Besides the cupcakes, a very close runner up in my Hostess indulgences were the Fruit Pies. I remember eating these all the time as a kid. They were so much better than real pie because of that layer of sugary glaze on the outside. I didn’t like pie crust as a kid because it wasn’t sweet enough. This solved that problem and made a piece of pie a convenient, handheld delight.

I liked the blueberry one the best, but those were sometimes hard to find. I made Ryan go out and find me one when I was pregnant with one of the kids and I believe I had to settle for apple. I had such a huge craving that I probably could have eaten 6 in one sitting. I loved everything about these pies – the taste, the weight (they were heavy!) and even the wrapper. Luckily, I didn’t eat 6 because I may have gone into a diabetic coma or had a heart attack. The “real fruit” pies are absolutely horrible for you.

Fruit Pie Nutritional Information

Another one of my favorites was the Ho Ho.

It was basically just a cupcake flattened and rolled up, but the frosting was that waxy stuff that left a greasy feeling in your mouth. I always tried to completely unroll the Ho Ho before I ate it, but that was a next to impossible feat.

Hostess held the market on so many scrumptious little pastries like SnoBalls, Ding Dongs, Donettes, Suzy Q’s, Chocodiles and Sweet Rolls. Each one had their own little qualities and characteristics that was unique to that one product. The store brand knock offs didn’t really compare to the Hostess brands. They would do in a pinch, but they just didn’t quite satisfy that Hostess craving.

One Hostess product that I never really liked was the Twinkie. I didn’t like the texture of the cake. It was way too spongy for my liking. I never felt like I fully got it chewed up in my mouth. Also, the urban legend that a Twinkie had a nearly infinite shelf life never much appealed to me.

I know I’m not the only one that feels like a little part of their childhood is dying with that blue and red cellophane wrapper. These products really are snack classics.

I’m Sorry President Obama, I Can’t Hear You. I Have A Flag In My Head.

Posted on November 7, 2012 by Amy

I stayed up to hear The President’s victory speech, but unfortunately, I didn’t hear much until Obama snapped me back to attention by yelling “WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!” I was too distracted by watching the people behind The President and to the odd mixture of audience members.

I was watching the woman standing behind Obama’s right shoulder. She was posing or giving f-me eyes to the camera the entire time. If you go back and watch the speech again, you can see her either trying to seduce Obama’s back or possibly using her 15 minutes of fame to look a little whorish.

I went in search of a still photo that included the little seductress and found that there were many more people distracted by the woman over Obama’s left shoulder who had stuck her flag in her hair. I noticed her, but didn’t find her flag-head nearly as distracted as the woman licking her lips and batting her eyes.