Raisins You Say?

When you take a couple of moms, their husbands, some beer made from raisins, a concert, more beers not made from raisins, bootlegging cameramen and random other passers by, it makes for an interesting evening.  But this post isn’t so much about how interesting the evening was, but about beers.

Last night Ryan and I went to see Dave Matthews with our friends, Patty and Darren.  We started off the night drinking a couple of beers that stated on the label that they were made from raisins.  For the record, beer made from raisins is not good.  The aftertaste made me think that I had just taken a shot of perfume.

I am not big on strong or hoppy tasting beers.  I prefer a nice lager or a pilsner at most.  I just can’t handle the strong flavor.  In other words, I like boring, domestic beers.  Even wheat beers are getting to be too strong for me.  My two favorite beers are Corona, Budweiser or some other non-light beer.  Not Bud Light, Budweiser.  I usually choose not to drink Budweiser in an identifying container in public because someone always comments on it.

“Whoa…you drink Bud Heavy?”

“Yes”

“Daaaa-amn!”

I don’t know if that’s supposed to be an insult, a compliment or neither…I just don’t like to have the same conversation every single time I drink it.  And I also don’t like it when I order a Budweiser and I watch the bartender reach for a Bud Light.  The same thing happens when I order a Coke.  The person taking my order will say, “Diet Coke?” or I have had them just give me a Diet Coke since they know me so well, they really know what I meant to say.

I like what I like and don’t need a stigma attached to my beverage of choice.  Although, I will say if I saw a man drinking a Skinnygirl Cocktail, I may ask him about it, but I think mostly because I don’t think they taste good.  So yeah, I would lead with, “Do you like how that tastes?”  Then, depending on his answer, I’m sure I would have a myriad of questions to follow up.  Possibly a bit hypocritical, but I have never seen a man drink one of those whereas I have seen plenty of women drink Budweiser.

Anyway, regardless of what I drink…the end result is usually the same – eventually.  In this case, raisins in your beer seem to speed things along at warp speed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Token Photos

As a mother of two children, I have certain photos that I have to take.  I believe it’s a parenting bylaw, adopted shortly after the invention of the camera.  The majority of the token photos are gender neutral, but there are a few that must be taken for each sex, in which case I actually have more photos that I have to take.  These photos don’t really serve a purpose.  They don’t document any major milestones, nor do they hold much comedic value.  They are just photos that every parent takes of their children during those early years and pull them out in a lame attempt to be funny when they are teenagers and have their friends over.

Here is the list of photos that you must take of your child.  It would benefit you to have more than one child because it isn’t mandatory that each child have these poses in their baby book, but there must be at least one representative from your brood.

  • Child crying – this unsympathetic picture is usually illiciting some kind of humor from the photographer.
  • Child drinking an alcoholic beverage – typically a beer.
  • Boy in women’s attire.
  • Any kind of naked photo.
  • Child covered in ink, marker or paint.
  • Child passed out in an awkward position.
  • Child in a strange place.
  • Child doing something dangerous, but apparently not worthy of you rescuing or stopping said child before taking a picture.
  • Child doing something disgusting.
  • Child covered in food – either while eating it or once it has been regurgitated.
  • Child doing something that may be used later as evidence of “signs he/she was destined to be a serial killer”.
  • Child wearing something ridiculous.
  • Child, usually a boy, looking at a Playboy Magazine.  A subcategory of this photo would be one involving a Hooters waitress.