Welcome To Hollywood! What’s Your Dream?

On Friday I joined my friend, Janis for an impromptu visit to see her sister in L.A.  I had only been to L.A. once before despite living only 100 miles away.  I don’t love L.A.  It kind of has a Vegas feel to it and I don’t love Vegas either.  However, both places are fun in small doses.

We got a room at The Standard on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood.  This hotel was a museum of sexual innuendos.  It was awesome and it had me giggling at every turn.

These were hanging on the outside of the hotel. I thought they were kind of cool, but there is an obvious sexual tone to them.

Once we got inside the room, we were a little cold and went to turn the heat on, only to discover we had no idea what we were getting into if we turned the dial.


I looked through the tray of items they had displayed for us to purchase should we need some $8 M&M’s in the middle of the night.  I found this instead.

I'm not sure if these are the only positions that are effective when wearing these condoms or if they are merely suggestions.

The key card also said “Slip it in”.  They had pencils instead of pens in the room.  Here is one of them.  The apparently come in a set, available for purchase.

The other pencil said "Shave me."

We discovered a hallway on Saturday morning with some interesting artwork.

One thing about L.A. is that it’s great for pretty people watching.  We didn’t have one mediocre looking waiter or waitress the entire time we were there.  I know some of them are probably hoping to get into acting or theater and this line of work is perfect.  One of the bartenders feigned surprise after looking at my ID, discovering that I was 35.  In hindsight, I should of yelled “CUT!” right after his performance instead of being so obviously flattered.  What can I say?  We ended up getting quite a few free drinks, though, so maybe what I took as a compliment was really him trying to apologize for basically calling me old.

Janis and I did notice that we were approached by quite a few young men while we were at our final bar stop, Saddle Ranch.  We came to the conclusion that all of the hipster kids were looking for some old lady to pay their way through acting school and were hoping we were it.  After the 3rd or 4th guy came up to us, we started telling them how we met as a way to cut the conversation short.  Janis and I met after the births of our first children in a breast feeding support group.  Nothing makes a 20 something male more uncomfortable than talk of boobs serving their actual function.  I vaguely remember telling one of the boys that he he too could produce milk if someone sucked on his nipples long enough.  I don’t think he even said “Good-bye”.

Boobies! What bonds Janis and I for life!

We ended our trip with a walk up and down Sunset Blvd and then some relaxing by the pool where I watched a Brad Pitt look-a-like play ping pong.  Sorry, no pictures of him, but here is one of me as The Lorax.

Saddle Ranch gives you HUGE sticks of cotton candy to eat. I LOVE cotton candy - Janis finds it repulsive so I ate enough to make me sick.




Flashback Friday

Ahhhh, yes, my friends it is that time again.  The time where I let you into a moment of my past.  This week, I decided to pick a picture.  I know I said each picture I picked would be at random, but it’s my blog and I’ll do as I wish.  And, truth be told, it was kind of random.  I thought of it this afternoon at about 2:30.

I have had somewhat of a busy day (according to my standards).  We dropped Kamryn off at school, but each Friday they have an assembly where kids get awards, they play a game and they have general announcements that usually parents need to know about.  Following Friday Flag (the name of the assembly), I had to run to the store and then make it back to Kamryn’s school by 10:00 to volunteer.  After school, we had a playdate with one of Kamryn’s friends from school and then another playdate with our Boob Class friends.

Huh, you say?  Boob Class?  This was the name that Ryan gave my Breast Feeding Support Group that I went to after having Kamryn.  I had no issues with breast feeding Kamryn, but I was told to go to this group the day I took her home from the hospital.  I remember thinking, I have to go to this group!  The nurse said I had to go!  So, I had Ryan drop me and my 6 day old baby off back at the same hospital that we had just left a day prior so I could learn the ins and outs of breastfeeding.

I remember that first day like it was yesterday.  I even remember what I wore (black knit pant gouchos and a pink wrap shirt).  I walked into the room and as the “newbie” it is required of all the other veteran mothers to oooh and aaaah over my baby.  We went around the room and introduced ourselves and I when I gave the age of my baby, there were a couple of gasps.  Yep – I was exposing my less than a week old baby to the public.  I had honestly never heard the “don’t take your baby out in public for 2 weeks” rule.  Kamryn was all over the place and I feel like now she has a immune system made of steel.

Over the course of the next 5 months, I religiously attended my Boob Class every Monday and Friday.  I soon became one of the veteran breast feeders and was even on a news story about the best time to have kids.  Over the course of those months, I had made friendships that still stand to this day.

Tonight, the Veteran Boob Classers got together for a playdate, which we often do now.  I missed out on a few years of those playdates while we were back in the Midwest hangin’ with our Iowa pals, but it didn’t take much to get right back into the groove of things.  We laugh, have a couple glasses of wine, talk, and the kids play.

We often reminisce about those early Boob Class days.  There’s something about being able to whip out your breast in front of a group of people and not have anyone bat an eye that bonds you for life.  At the time, I probably could have identified each set of “girls” in a line up.  Afterall, someone has to have the longest nipples!

So, on this Flashback Friday, here are the kids that brought us together and while our group has grown substantially with new friends and siblings, I always go back to this photo to best represent my first few months of parenting.