The Time Is Upon Us

Or me.  The time is upon me.

Rory’s first day of school is tomorrow and so far I have been able to keep my shit together, but God knows what kind of hot mess is going to be stumbling out of the preschool doors after drop off.

I’m purposely going to have my running gear on to make myself go for a run so I am distracted by thoughts of some fellow 3 year old taking advantage of the new kid, who just happens to be comfortably wearing size 18-24 month shorts.  My little man…off to school.

Tonight when I put Rory to bed, I read him The Kissing Hand.  Some family friends gave the book to Kamryn a few years ago and I used to read it to her all the time.  I cannot get through that book without tearing up, though.  So tonight, through blurry vision and a shaky voice, Rory learned about The Kissing Hand.  I kissed his little left hand and he giggled, but then held it to his cheek, just like in the book.  I am 100% screwed tomorrow.

I had to fill out a ton of paperwork before Rory could start school and one of the questions asked me how I would describe my child’s personality.  Heh…like I’m going to be honest.  He is the most loving and friendliest little boy.  He is very compliant, always listens and can read at a 5th grade level.  As Kamryn would say, “Mommy, that’s P.S.”  I should have just given them the pictures below.  Damn!  I just remembered I have to bring a picture of him tomorrow for his cubby.

Token Photos

As a mother of two children, I have certain photos that I have to take.  I believe it’s a parenting bylaw, adopted shortly after the invention of the camera.  The majority of the token photos are gender neutral, but there are a few that must be taken for each sex, in which case I actually have more photos that I have to take.  These photos don’t really serve a purpose.  They don’t document any major milestones, nor do they hold much comedic value.  They are just photos that every parent takes of their children during those early years and pull them out in a lame attempt to be funny when they are teenagers and have their friends over.

Here is the list of photos that you must take of your child.  It would benefit you to have more than one child because it isn’t mandatory that each child have these poses in their baby book, but there must be at least one representative from your brood.

  • Child crying – this unsympathetic picture is usually illiciting some kind of humor from the photographer.
  • Child drinking an alcoholic beverage – typically a beer.
  • Boy in women’s attire.
  • Any kind of naked photo.
  • Child covered in ink, marker or paint.
  • Child passed out in an awkward position.
  • Child in a strange place.
  • Child doing something dangerous, but apparently not worthy of you rescuing or stopping said child before taking a picture.
  • Child doing something disgusting.
  • Child covered in food – either while eating it or once it has been regurgitated.
  • Child doing something that may be used later as evidence of “signs he/she was destined to be a serial killer”.
  • Child wearing something ridiculous.
  • Child, usually a boy, looking at a Playboy Magazine.  A subcategory of this photo would be one involving a Hooters waitress.

He’s Lucky He’s Cute

Rory will be 3 years old on March 3rd.  He’s just a little guy – barely able to wear 24 month clothes and still wearing t-shirts that he got when he was an infant.  However, his personality is HUGE.  He is a feisty little guy and at times can be really difficult. 

My kids almost always behave in public and that leads people to believe that my kids behave the same way at home.  Any parent knows that isn’t the case and unless my kids know you extremely well, they don’t tend to show their true colors. 

The last few days have been especially trying when it comes to Rory.  He’s still potty training and although he’s doing a pretty good job, when he does have an accident, it’s not really an accident.  For example, he peed in his carseat the other day.  I know he could have held it until we got home, but he peed and then laughed as he told me.  He kept saying “That’s funny, Mama.”  Other times he has stood right in front of me and peed.  Just like Regan in The Exorcist except he doesn’t tell me I’m going to die up there and he’s not possessed, at least I don’t think he is…

We are also cutting out Rory’s naps.  I know he still needs a little one everyday and I let him sleep, but I don’t actually put him down for a real nap like I used to.  He would easily sleep for 3 hours and then be up for just as many hours that night.  So now I just let him crash wherever he lands and let him sleep for at most, an hour. 

And finally, once Rory turns 3, he no longer is getting his binky.  I won’t let him have one during the day at all, but he does still have it at night.  That has probably been the biggest obstacle as of late.  Usually he would get upset about something, go find his binky and his “B” (his blanket) and settle himself down.  Now that he doesn’t get binky, he just gets more pissed off. 

All of these things have resulted in a lot of crying, tantrums and screaming in our house.  Some coming from Rory and some coming from me.  Kamryn has been trying to keep Rory in check and I usually don’t stop her because she speaks the truth.  It’s kind of funny to listen to her say “Rory, if you don’t stop crying, I won’t let you play with any toys and mommy is going to put you in your room.”  She says it in a really sweet, sing-songy voice and he listens to her.

After a few particular frustrating conversations about snacks and when they would be administered, Rory climbed up on my lap and fell asleep.  I love holding sleeping babies.  They are just so peaceful and it was a nice reminder that my Little Buddy is just that…my little buddy.

Sorry for the boob shot – just focus on the cute little boy.