Battle of the Barbies

I was playing Barbies with Kamryn this morning.  All I do is change their outfits into ones that match and comb the tangled mop on their head, however Kamryn told me that I am the best Barbie player ever.  I have to disagree with her praise – she puts them into all sorts of predicaments and Ken almost always ends up in a dress with his loafers on since we only have one outfit for him.  She is easily the best Barbie player ever.

My mom sent out my old Crystal Barbie for Kamryn along with some of the old clothes and accessories (record player, pink telephone, tennis rackets, guitars).  She was by far my favorite one because of that dress and the jewelry.She also had a ring on her right hand, that you can’t see in this picture.  I was probably 7 or 8 when I got this Barbie (by the way, this is not my Barbie pictured, but what she looked like when I got her).  I also had a Kissing Barbie – I think she was my first Barbie.  

That thing she is holding is lipstick which was basically a stamp with pink ink.  She had a button on her back that would jut her face out a bit – that was her kiss.  Eventually, I cut her hair into a fashionable mullet after I burned it while trying to curl it with the curling iron.

These are the only two Barbies I remember having.  Kamryn already has 4 or 5 Barbies, not including the one from my childhood.  Today, while we were playing, I took a good look at Crystal Barbie and one of the “new” Barbies.  I remember there being a big fiasco about Barbie’s figure and how if a real woman had Barbie’s dimensions she wouldn’t be able to stand up.  Well, I guess it’s a good thing that Barbie isn’t a real person, huh?  I find things like this completely idiotic.

When I played with my Barbies, I thought her dresses and shoes, along with her wavy long hair, made her pretty.  I didn’t think “Oh I wish I had her teeny waist and huge rack.”  Kamryn told me today that she liked one particular Barbie more than the others.  I asked her why and she said “She has long blonde hair like me.”  No mention of boobs, legs, hips, etc.  In fact, Kamryn likes to use one of Barbie’s bikini tops as a bra.  She finds it rather indecent of Barbie to run around sans bra and it’s all because I wear one.  In her mind she thinks my mom has boobs and wears a bra, Barbie has boobs and should wear a bra.

As I was comparing and contrasting my 25+ year old Barbie with the newer and supposedly more proportional Barbie, I came to one conclusion.  The old Barbie is better – even with her huge boobs. 

Look how much cuter the older Barbie is.  The newer Barbie looks like a street walker and  Crystal has a more cutesy look to her.  Yeah, she has some negatives – those curved arms were such a pain in the ass to get clothes on and her hair is a very unnatural shade, but that could come from age as well.  Also, if you strip both Barbies down, it’s really hard to tell that there is an actual difference in their bust size.This was the only way I realized that my old Barbie’s boobs were bigger.  She doesn’t fit into any of the dresses very well.  I know Kamryn hasn’t noticed that her Barbies have different dimensions as mine and if you think I’m going to point any of this out to her, you are sorely mistaken because let’s be realistic – present day Barbie’s body isn’t any more attainable than older Barbie’s.  Oh and there is that whole thing about Kamryn not even caring or taking notice of that aspect of her doll.  Sometimes drawing attention to something that only you notice is the fastest way to make it into a perceived problem.