Last Christmas my brother and I wandered around the mall trying to figure out what to get my parents for a gift.  He had vetoed my idea of giving them pictures of my kids because that didn’t help him out.  I suggested he go find himself a wife and have some kids of his own and then we would all win.  He didn’t concur.

Each year I have a hard time buying gifts for my parents because they will never give me valid gift ideas.  They always start off with “We don’t need anything.”  And after pressing and insisting they give me ideas, I’ll get a list consisting of things like socks, pot holders or some brand spankin’ new steak knives (all things I have purchased as gifts for my parents in the past).

We had finally settled on a Nook, but before we determined that as the perfect gift, we browsed in Brookstone.  Brookstone markets itself as a place to find “unique gifts and smart solutions”.  Hmmm  That’s being awfully generous.

On this particular trip I came across something that I could not explain.  It literally made no sense to me at all.  I held it in my hand, turning it over and over looking for the little statement that said *For Entertainment Purposes Only, but there wasn’t one.

Cellphone and Bluetooth Receiver

I’m sure everyone can identify both items.  On the left is a cellphone and on the right is an old school landline telephone handset.  The handset is a bluetooth.  Huh?  So, I need to carry around something bigger than my cellphone, replicating the thing that no one uses anymore in order to use the more advanced technology?  Well OK!  Sign me up!

Let’s just pretend that the inventor of this gadget intended it purely as a joke.  Granted, it’s a joke I definitely don’t get.  I find it confusing.  I felt a little like the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.  I’m just a caveman, your strange inventions frighten and confuse me.  I used to think the Oakley’s with the built in bluetooth had a douche factor of about 11 on a 10 point scale, but clearly, I was mistaken.  Can you imagine coming across someone talking on this phone?  They most certainly would be attempting to draw as much attention to themselves as possible which would equate to EXTREMELY loud talking and proclaiming things like “YEAH, DUDE, I’M HEADING TO HOOTER’S ‘CAUSE THEIR WINGS ARE AWESOME AND I’M TOTALLY GOING TO TALK ON THIS PHONE THE WHOLE TIME.  IT’S GOING TO BE EPIC.”

D-baggery!!!