What Goes On In There?

Every morning when Rory wakes up, he does one of two things.  He’ll either go straight into the living room and if I’m already up, he’ll say “Hi, Mama!” and hop up on my lap.  If I’m still asleep, he’ll come into my room and crawl into bed with me.  Not gently, mind you.  He’ll literally crawl over me and lay in the middle of the bed, squirming under the covers until he is completely encased in blankets.  It’s impossible to sleep through.

Yesterday, I thought I heard some commotion coming from Rory’s room, but I know better than to open the door to check unless I am 100% sure he is up.  99.999999% sure isn’t good enough.  You don’t want to risk that one and a gazillionth chance that the child is still asleep and you wake them up by opening the door.  They must be able to sense the pressure change in the room because there have been times that I have taken a full minute to just turn the knob to ensure complete silence, but the minute the door cracks one millimeter, the child’s eyes are wide and looking right at me.

Once when Kamryn was about 9 months old, I went in her room to check on her and tried to close her bedroom window without waking her.  Of course the window made a nearly inaudible creak and she popped her head up.  I immediately hit the deck and laid on the floor, parallel to her crib, in the hopes that she would go back to sleep.  I was laying face down and heard her move around a little bit and then it was silent.  Assuming she had fallen back to sleep, I started to get up and glanced toward the top of her crib where she stood staring at me with a big smile on her face.  Guess who never had her windows open in her room again?

It’s rare that either of my kids will stay in their rooms once they wake up in the morning.  Occasionally, Kamryn will get up, snatch my phone from my nightstand and go back to her room to play Angry Birds, but if that means more sleep for me, I’m happy to oblige.  Rory, on the other hand, is up and out of his room before he is even fully awake.

So yesterday, when Rory did come out of his room, I was a little surprised to see him like this:

I wear my sunglasses at night…er I mean in the morning.

Those aren’t actually sunglasses, they are 3D glasses that we got when we saw The Lorax on Rory’s birthday.  I didn’t know it when he came out of his room yesterday, but Rory knew exactly what he wanted to do when he got up.  He wanted to play a 3D game on the computer.  Without one single word, he got online and pulled up a game on Nick Jr. that could be viewed in 3D.  I didn’t even know he knew it existed, much less knew how to navigate his way to it.

The boy never ceases to amaze me.

A Horrible Poem

I’m not sure why but for some reason my mind thinks in rhymes when I’m tired.  I apologize in advance.

I glance at the clock and it reads 1:33,

Can I fall back asleep?  Nope, I gotta pee.

I do my business and get back into bed,

But I know no rest will come for this sleepyhead.


Suddenly, at 2:07, from Rory’s room I hear a shout,

“Mommy!” he yells…Damn, I know his binky fell out.

I search all around his bed without a light,

This fucking binky is going to ruin my entire night!


Binky was found and the boy is fast asleep,

For the rest of the night I won’t hear the slightest peep.

This doesn’t help me, it’s now 2:44,

Please let me sleep…just a little bit more!


Fine, I’ll get up and go watch some TV.

There’s nothing on but infomercials for Insanity.

Yay!  I have DVR’d 4 episodes of Parenthood!

A few of those will do me good.


I watch 2 full episodes and now it’s almost 4,

There’s no point in trying to sleep anymore.

I make a pot of coffee and have two mugs,

There’s no way I’ll make it through the day without some drugs.


I hop in the shower, I’m sure everyone will be up with I get out,

Nope, everyone’s still sleeping.  “Wake the fuck up!”  I want to shout.

My total sleep time is a mere 2 hours or maybe 3.

Either way it’s not enough…that I can guarantee!

Oh, Rory…

I debated on whether I would actually write anything when I posted this picture or just let the picture doing the talking.  Well, for those of you that know me, you know I can’t keep my mouth shut.

Rory wanted to watch Mickey Mouse (or as he calls it, Dicky Mouse).  I could tell he was tired so I put him back on my bed and found an episode On Demand.  It was quiet in the bedroom and that meant he had fallen asleep or he was smearing Vaseline all over his face again (that was what he was doing when I got out of the shower).

I did not expect to see him pulling an Al Bundy!

Real nice, Rory.

Who Needs Sleep?

Apparently not Rory.  We are on day 2 of “I need less sleep than anyone else in the family.”  I used to only be able to listen to other parents sigh warily when they talked about their children and their nighttime struggles.  This was a club I wanted nothing to do with and was happy to be excluded.  
Now, it seems, my darling little boy thinks I need to be more socially involved because he has unwillingly signed me up for the dreaded club.  For roughly the last 4 months Rory has been getting up in the middle of the night.  It was hit or miss for awhile, but now it’s gotten to be not only a nightly event, but also happening multiple times a night.  The most frustrating thing about these late night wake up calls is that Rory doesn’t need anything.  He’s 2 ½ years old so the late night feedings have been over for nearly 2 years.  In fact, all I have to do is walk him back to his room and put him back in bed.  I don’t talk to him, cuddle him or do anything special to get him back to sleep.  He does that on his own sometime after I leave.
Last night Rory’s first wake up was at 12:30am.  The second, 1:40am.  The third through about 100 was during the 3:00 hour.  I finally put up a gate so he couldn’t get out of his room, which he knocked down, waking up Kamryn.  Can you imagine my delight when I heard her yell “Mommy!”  Luckily, she loves to sleep and all it took was me telling her that Rory was being naughty and she went right back to bed.
Just when I thought all was well and Rory would sleep until 9:00am, I heard him yelling “Mommy, OUT!” at 5:45am.  I still had the gate up so I told him he needed to go back to bed and sleep for a little while.  Amazingly, he said, “Okay.” And went back to his bed and laid down.  I went back to bed too and 5 minutes later, I hear him crying.  I told him he couldn’t get out of bed, so he didn’t.  Instead, he just laid there and wailed. 
I always prided myself on my sleeping kids.  We were never interested in co-sleeping.  I have yet to hear of a successful co-sleeping story in which the child was transitioned into their own bed at a reasonable age without incident.  I did use the cry-it-out method with Kamryn, which some think is cruel.  And it sucked…for me.  I paced back and forth for 45 minutes while she screamed from her crib.  But, just like they said in all the literature, the next night was 20 min, and then 5 and then a peaceful sleeping baby.  And if you ask Kamryn how traumatized she is from that, she’ll ask you what “traumatized” means.  Rory somehow learned how to sleep through the night on his own and now, seems to have forgotten.
I’m not looking forward to sleep training a 2 year old, but rest assured, (pun intended) the boy will sleep.  One thing I do not waiver on is sleep.  My bed is not your bed and neither of our wake up times should be before 7:00am.
Or course I’m posting a picture of him in his sister’s pink sweatshirt.  That’s payback for waking me up