July | 2014 | 10:02

I’m a bit late in my post-op post due to my realization that I am not allowed to sit up straight for some time. I must remain in a hunched position while standing and at a 45° angle while laying down. The latter makes it difficult for me to sleep, thus the 1:30am posting from my phone.

Preparation for my surgery started shortly after 6:00am. After a brief search for a suitable vein for my IV, I was covered with warm blankets and a “Bear Huggie” which distributed warm air all over my body. My doctor came in and sectioned off my soon to be gone parts with a purple marker before wheeling me in to the operating room promptly at 7:00. I was given a “margarita” injection and before I even had the chance to enjoy it, it was lights out.

I awoke at around 11:30 and immediately felt pain in my upper abdomen. Not horrible pain, but definite discomfort. A nurse was close by and gave me Percocet as well as fentanyl in my IV. Needless to say, that pretty much took care of that. I snacked on a few saltines and ginger ale and before I knew it, it was time to go home. I had a momentary stint of nausea, but made it home vomit free.

I am wrapped in what can best be described as a black sausage casing with a strategically placed opening. The casing is not to be removed for a few days which means no showers and no hair washing.

My doctor called me around 3:00 and after I told her what I had been up to since arriving home, she informed me I wasn’t taking enough pain medication. Unfortunately, the Percocet is making me extremely nauseous and the best way to prevent that is to eat. I have forced down a bag a pretzels, two pudding cups, two jello cups and 1/2 a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Kamryn and Rory made me get well cards and Kamryn may have a future at Hallmark.

Overall, the pain isn’t that bad. It’s far less than previous surgeries I have had and I don’t anticipate needing to be on the pain meds for too long. My legs started hurting after I got up for the first time, but even that is fairly manageable. Tomorrow my doctor is making a house call to see how I’m doing and hopefully, I’ll get a glimpse at what’s under my black suit. And hopefully it’s a nice birthday present.

Apologies for the choppy writing – I took a couple pain pills and flowing paragraphs are escaping me.

It has been well over a year since I sat in front of my computer and vigorously typed out a blog post. I started out with such dedication and then committed to a full year of daily posts only to throw my hands up in the air after 9 1/2 months and now, here I am again.

I have had a few people ask me why I don’t blog anymore and my response lies somewhere between a shoulder shrug and a lengthy explanation of it starting to consume my life. I had actually started blogging because in the background of my daily life, there was something occurring that only my close friends and family knew about and one day…one glorious day…all would be revealed.

Well, that day finally came, it was actually quite anti-climatic and not surprisingly, colors aren’t more vibrant, the sun doesn’t shine brighter and I’m not floating on my own bed of happiness. To make a five year long story short, I settled a medical malpractice lawsuit for an undisclosed amount of money. Am I rich? Monetarily, no. Am I happy with the outcome? Meh…I guess. I’m just glad it’s over. Do I have anything else to say about it? Not really.

After the birth of Rory, 5 1/2 years ago, I had countless complications that resulted in countless corrective surgeries and leaving countless scars all over my body, but mostly on my stomach. I vowed that once I could afford it, I would have one final surgery to remove all the scar tissue and unsightly scars that I was left with. Well, with the settlement of my lawsuit, that day has arrived and much sooner than I originally anticipated.

I had gone in for a consultation with a cosmetic surgeon on Wednesday, July 23rd and discussed what I was unhappy with about my body. I was told I was a perfect candidate for a mini tummy tuck. I already knew that because off and on over the last 5 years I had perused numerous before and after photos of other women who had similar “situations” with their abdomens. My doctor asked me when I wanted to have the surgery and I jokingly asked her if she could fit me in that afternoon. She said it would most likely not be schedule for about 4 weeks. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to work for me and her receptionist said she would see how soon it could be scheduled. To my surprise, I received a call later that afternoon saying they could fit me in on the 28th as long as I could come in the next day to do my pre-op appointment.

July 28th, the day before my 38th birthday, I will be going under the knife…hopefully for the very last time. I will be having a mini tummy tuck and liposuction on my thighs – I figured since I was already there, why not throw in (or out) a little fat removal? While I’m not scared to have this done, I am a little nervous and a lot excited.

So why the blog post? I want to document the process. I have told a handful of people and the most common reaction is, “I’m jealous!” I know everyone that has any kind of procedure done has a different experience, but I’ll share exactly what it was like for me. It will also save me from having to tell the same story over and over again. It will also serve as a reminder of how painful surgery is in case I get some kind of plastic surgery obsession. I have heard people say it’s like a tattoo…you can’t get just one.

The process started yesterday when I went to pick up all of my supplies: my prescriptions that I’ll need after the surgery, a shirt that buttons up in the front (not easy to find), extra pillows, pudding, soup, jello, Gatorade, ice packs, and hard candy. Today consists of washing all of my bed linens so they are clean and fresh after I take my 13 step antibacterial shower tonight and another one tomorrow morning.

And finally. I debated this in my mind a lot before I decided to do it. What would be the point of me writing about having cosmetic surgery if I didn’t show you the before picture? I figured a link would be better than inserting a picture. It’s not something that everyone wants to see.

There you have it. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s, drug induced, post-op post. It’s sure to be fun filled with maybe some gory pictures!!