Yesterday I forgot to do my daily post.  I have posted something every single day in 2012 and yesterday I just forgot.  Actually, I remembered at about 8:00 when I was putting the kids to bed, but immediately after I closed their doors, I climbed right into bed and read my book.

I woke up this morning at 4:13 and realized what I had done and it sent a wave of panic through me.  That reaction has led me to make the decision to stop forcing myself to post something every day.  I actually considered getting up and writing something really quick in the hopes that I could sneak it on the sly – or make up an excuse about how I preemptively said I wasn’t going to post anything on 9/21/12.  How ridiculous is that?

First off, I don’t think many people even realize that I committed myself to writing every day.  Secondly, I don’t think many peoplecare if I write something every day, every other day or once a week.

Anyway, I’m still going to post, but I am relieving myself of this daily task.  And now that I have put that in writing, I’m sure I’ll be blessed with infinite ideas about what I could write about.

Not My Finest Hour

Today is my dear husband’s birthday and on this day of celebration, it’s unfortunate that his wife got beat by the stupid stick.  I know it has absolutely nothing to do with me going out to karaoke with my friends last night and possibly overindulging in a vast array of tasty beverages.  Nope…no connection whatsoever.

After waking up and feeling like I got run over by a truck, I dropped Kamryn off at school and immediately went back home and watched TV with Rory.  He watched two episodes of Parenthood with me without complaint.  That was enough of a break for me to get up and take a shower and then run to Wendy’s for the essential “morning after” french fry run.  Once I had my fill of deep fat fried deliciousness, it was time to pick Kamryn up from school.

Kamryn had her kindergarten evaluation today so she stayed after school with her teacher for an extra half hour while Mrs. M tested her.  I needed to be at school at 12:15 and when I walked out of the house, it was 12:04.  At 12:06, I realized I did not have my keys.  I had Rory with me so there was no way that I could get to school in time.  If I had a stroller, I could have busted ass to get there in time, but with a dawdling 3 year old in tow, it was out of the question.

I contemplated calling the school to tell them I would be late, but decided against that and instead called my friend, Kate, who lives only a couple of blocks away and stated my dilemma.  She offered to go pick up Kamryn at school and explain to Mrs. M that Kamryn’s mom is a moron and locked herself out.  I agreed that that was probably best.

Rory and I walked to Kate’s house while she went to pick up Kamryn with her girls, who were very concerned about Kamryn’s state of mind since I wasn’t at school to get her.  I love how Kamryn’s friends are looking out for her in her hour of need.  Fortunately, Kamryn doesn’t get too worked up about that sort of thing and I’m sure was pleasantly surprised to be picked up by her friends instead of her mother.

In the meantime, I had tried calling  Ryan at work and got his voicemail.  I left him a message and then sent him a follow up text in case he was in a meeting.  Next I texted my brother, who has a spare key, to see if I could easily break into his place to retrieve my key.  There was not, but he agreed to drive home on his lunch break to unlock his place so I could get the key.

Kamryn, Rory and I walked to my brother’s place, which is luckily about 50 yards away from our house, got the key and finally got home.  The whole ordeal took an hour.

This is when we all sit back and wonder what we did before cell phones and try to figure out what we would have done to resolve the issue.  I do not know anyone’s phone number anymore.  I know 3 phone numbers:  mine, Ryan’s cell and my parent’s home number.  That’s it.  I don’t know my brother’s cell, parents’ cells, Ryan’s work and certainly not the number of anyone I have met in the last 10 years.

Honestly, I think I would have attempted to somehow climb up on the balcony and go through the siding glass door, which was open.  We have a huge ladder hanging out on our balcony which two different people have request to borrow after locking themselves out of their condos.  It seems we are the only people with a ladder tall enough to get up on a 2nd floor balcony.  And it’s a bit ironic that the only ones the ladder can’t help are the owners of said ladder during a lock out situation.  That should have been one of the verses of Alanis’s song.

Guess Wha’ Today Be?

’tis National Talk Like A Pirate Day!  I looked all o’er t’ find a good translator ‘n I found th’ best one on pirate.monkeyness.com.  I find that when I try t’ natter like a pirate, I end up speakin’ in a really bad Jamaican accent.  I be goin’ t’ keep this short ’cause I be already annoyin’ meself wit’ all o’ th’ apostrophes.

Last night when I went t’ bed, me nose was all stuffed up ‘n I was feelin’ bad…nah jus’ sluggish, but I felt like complete Davy Jones’ locker.  Rory has had a cold since Sunday night ‘n ’twas clear he had passed it on t’ me.  I dosed meself wit’ some Nyquil ‘n went t’ bed.  This mornin’ when I woke up, I didn’ feel much better, but had t’ get th’ sprogs t’ school ‘n ’tis me runnin’ day.

A while back I posted that th’ cure fer a hangover was runnin’.  I ‘ave now discovered that it also cures th’ common cold.  I really didn’ feel like runnin’ ‘n th’ first mile was more than hard, but then it started gettin’ easier ‘n while I only ran 4 o’ me scheduled nigh-on two leagues, I chalked that up as a win.

One slightly disturbin’ thin’ about this, though.  I was lootin’ a shower afterwards ‘n I lost some time.  I be nah sure how much – maybe jus’ a minute or two, but thar was a definite lapse in time.  It kind o’ felt like I fell asleep standin’ up.  I didn’ pass out or feel dizzy, jus’ nah really conscious.  Oh well.  If ye be in th’ medical profession ‘n that’s a sign o’ somethin’ serious, let me know, but I be pretty sure I be OK.

Alright, enough o’ this.  Happy Pirate Day!

1950’s Housewives On Sale In Aisle 5!

This morning, on what has become a weekly trip to Target, I took a detour through the women’s clothes to see if their swim suits were marked down enough for me to buy a couple for next year.  They were not.

I have amazing peripheral vision.  Really, I’m not kidding.  I think my eyeballs are shaped really spherically or something because I can almost see behind me.  Or maybe my peripheral vision isn’t actually better than anyone else and I just choose to actually take note of those little somethings seen out of the corner of my eye.

Well, today I saw a pattern that appealed to me and so I approached to find a dress on the clearance rack with a price tag of $3.76.  From what I can surmise, the dress was bought online and returned to the store and they didn’t know how to price it because it was an “Online Only” item.

I didn’t try it on because I didn’t have time and for $3.76, even if I only wear it once, I’ll kind of feel like it was worth it.  I got it home, tried it on and immediately can see why it was returned.  The dress is not flattering.  At least not on me.  The more I looked at myself in the mirror, the more I thought I was resembling June Cleaver.  Hmmm…not a good look for me.I’m going to wear it out – I have to at least once.  Can I just say that I did not notice the puffy sleeves when I bought it.  That may have been a deal breaker.  I do not like puffy sleeves even on my 5 year old daughter.  Also, sorry about the lack of makeup.  I do not see a need for it on most days – immediately eliminating me from the Mrs. Cleaver roll.

Weekley Menu 9/17 – 9/23

Check out the organization on Amy!  I have been in organization mode lately.  I rearranged my short/tank top drawer last week, put all of Kamryn’s school work from last year in a binder (yes, I keep everything – even the little pictures her friends made her), started new binders for this year, categorized my recipe binder and organized all of my PTA crap stuff.

When I am organized, I do my weekly menu.  When I’m not organized, we eat out.  I’m hitting up skinnytaste.com again – it treated me well last week.

Monday – Chicken Piccata – I don’t think I have had this before, but there was a comment on the recipe that said chicken piccata isn’t usually breaded.  Oh well – I like breaded stuff better and I have breadcrumbs so it’s going to be breaded.  I don’t, however have capers and I don’t know if I’ll make it to the store today.

Tuesday – Tacos/Tostadas – This was Kamryn’s choice.  That girl loves tacos and so do I.  I recently started buying tostadas and melting cheese on them.  I love it.  Anyway, I have a bag of tostadas already so I most likely won’t buy the shells.

Wednesday – Vietnamese Shaking Beef (Bo Luc Lac) – This sounds intriguing.  The recipe suggests serving it over a bed of greens and tomatoes.  I’ll probably do that for me and Ryan and let the kids have it over rice.

Thursday – It’s Ryan’s birthday.  He gets to choose where we go to eat.

Friday – Cheesy Zucchini Enchiladas – I’m really trying to get at least one vegetarian meal or more a week.  I know I could never go 100% vegetarian, but I don’t need to eat meat everyday either.  These looked pretty good and my kids like zucchini.

Saturday – Crock Pot Buffalo Chicken Lettuce Wraps – Another Kamryn choice.  It’s football season and what better than some kind of wing related entrée?  Kamryn loves bleu cheese as well and when she saw the picture of a wrap with a pile of bleu cheese on it, she was sold.

Sunday – Pizza – I haven’t made pizza for awhile because it’s been so hot and I can always eat pizza.

Happy eating!


Beach Day

We spent the day at the beach.  Kamryn was getting a little better at boogie boarding.  That wasn’t as easy as I thought it was.  I got washed off the two times I tried it…much to the amusement of the French man playing with his kids at the edge of the water.  Kamryn told me I was too large for her boogie board.  Rory gave it a whirl too, but he must have been too small because he washed right off as well. 


Rory vs. the waves.


Kamryn claims she puked here because she swallowed ocean water.


Kamryn And Rory Say…

I have been playing catch up on a lot of my stuff lately.  I have blogs that I love to read, but haven’t had the time to catch up on all the posts, emails that I have been putting off responding to for one reason or another, a stack of magazines that I haven’t read and I’m 3 days behind in my Lil Journal Project.

Today I am attempting to get through the magazine pile.  It’s about a billion degrees outside so we are stuck indoors for the afternoon and trying to entertain each other.  Ryan is held up in the bedroom watching football and the kids are bored as hell.  I was reading through a special supplement to one of my Real Simple issues that focuses on family.  There was a page with unfinished proverbs with endings made up by kids.  I decided to see what my kids had to say.  You can get a free printable from RS here.

A woman’s work is…

Kamryn: Qualcomm.

Rory: What?

You can’t teach an old dog…

Kamryn:  to do tricks.

Rory:  to eat me.

Good things come to those who…

Kamryn:  to kids that are good.

Rory:  to kitties.

People who live in glass houses…

Kamryn:  get scratches.

Rory:  break.

Life is a bowl of…

Kamryn:  wishes.

Rory:  baseball.

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

Kamryn:  say “hi!”

Rory:  just do it.

If wishes were horses…

Kamryn:  you’ll get a donkey kick.

Rory:  get a guy on there and say “neeeeiiiiiiggggghhhh!”

The early bird catches…

Kamryn:  a worm.

Rory:  a dragon.

You can’t have your cake and…

Kamryn:  until it’s your birthday.

Rory:  your birthday.

I kept the kids separate when I asked them to finish the sentences – apparently we only have cake when it’s someone’s birthday.  I was impressed that Kamryn got a couple of them semi-right, but I have to be honest, I have never heard the “If wishes were horses…” proverb before.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that neither of my kids finished that correctly.



Flashback Friday

I have been looking for this picture for about a month.  I was talking to someone one – it’s been so long ago that I can’t even remember – about praying manti (is that mantis in the plural form?).  I mentioned that I had taken a really cool photo of one that was hanging out on the tree in our front yard when we lived in Iowa.

I thought I had posted it on Facebook and after searching through about 700 photos, I realized I didn’t.  I assumed it was saved on my external harddrive which quit working about a year ago after it jumped off the table onto the floor.  (If anyone knows a good external harddrive repair man, I would like their number.)

I figured the picture was lost until I could check the harddrive, but since this is the first time I have really wanted to look at something on there, you can understand why I haven’t been in a mad rush to get it fixed.  As it turns out, the picture was on a flashdrive that has been right in front of my face all along.

Anywhooooo, these bugs are so prehistoric looking, I just stared at it for a good 20 minutes.  And, if you look closely, he or she was looking right back at me.  I didn’t notice that until I looked at the picture.

Nice Rack!

Today I went to the grand opening of Nordstrom Rack.  (Understand the title now?)  I have never been to a grand anything, much less a store opening.  I don’t like that kind of stuff…all the people, the lines, the waiting.  It sucks and usually isn’t worth it in the end.

A friend mentioned it during drop off at school and said there was supposed to be some swag.  Hmmm, swag you say?  I can dig some swag.  The store was opening at 9:00, it was a little after 8:00, it would take me about 5 minutes to get there….yeah, I’ll go check it out and if the line is long, I just won’t go…were my thoughts.

Once we were in the car, I told Rory I wanted to go to two stores…Target and another store.  Target means something to him, Nordstrom Rack doesn’t.  I told him if he was a good boy, I would buy him a car at Target.  He agreed to be a good boy and off we went.  I pulled into the shopping center around 8:15 and said, “Fuck this!”  Yes, I said it and I wonder why my son’s favorite thing to say is son of a bitch.  But seriously, this was out of control.

Part of the line. I’m about 50 feet to the left.  And yes, that is the front of an ambulance.
Picture courtesy of Kristen Vermeer.

It’s a store.  And not only that, there are three other ones in the San Diego area.  So what did I do?  I stood in line for 45 minutes with my 3 1/2 year old and waited.  I think it was the fact that I saw an open parking spot immediately.  If I would have had to look for a spot, I wouldn’t have gone.

Rory wanted to sit on the wall. From there he spotted the spider trying to crawl up a lady’s leg. We didn’t tell her.

We got some free water that I would only let Rory take little sips of.  We were at least 20 minutes in to our wait and I’d be damned if I was going to get out of line so he could pee.  I would have had him peeing on those plants that he was sitting by above.

Rack water is the best.

They were actually handing out bottles of 5 Hour Energy, but I was a few people too deep in the line to get one.  Other businesses tried to take advantage of the crazy (mostly) women standing in line by handing out their coupons and flyers.  The Rack folks put the kibosh on that awfully quick.  They weren’t going to have some dude from T.G.I.Friday’s bugging their upscale bargain hunters.

I took a picture of the people behind me.

That was the small line at around 8:30. It went back another 100 yards about 20 minutes later.

And eavesdropped on the 3 women in front of me.  Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from the MENSA nominees.

The name, “Jasmine” became popular in the 80’s because of that movie Beauty in the Beast…no wait, it was Aladdin.  I should know that, I’m Asian!


Woman #1: I’m just going to run in there and start grabbing jeans.

Woman #2:  What if they don’t fit?

Woman #1:  Yeah, you’re right.  I’ll just grab shoes instead.

I actually laughed after that one and I got “a look” from woman #1, but something tells me I could have convinced her it wasn’t me that laughed if things got hairy.

I was starting to get worried that the dumb was going to rub off on Rory so we focused our attention on the DJ instead and danced a little.

DJ McRack. That wasn’t his name, but I so enjoyed putting “Rack” into any sentence I could.

We finally got into the store at about 9:15 and to my surprise, it wasn’t as hard to move around in there as I thought it would be.  I walked through the women’s stuff and nothing really caught my eye so I made my way back towards the shoes and found a pair of black boots for Kamryn and a pair of Uggs for me.  I’m telling you…if you have small feet like me, you have to go to the kid’s section!  I got a size 4 in kids for $60 and the best part is that they don’t even look like Uggs!

Next stop was the kid’s section where both Kamryn and Rory scored some new duds.  I checked the time and it was nearing 9:45 and I still had to go to Target so I figured I should navigate towards the check out line since that was sure to be a cluster fuck.  I was working my way to the end of the line when I heard one of the employees ask a woman if she was going to pay with cash or credit.  She replied, “Credit.” and the employee said, “OK, follow me!”  I took that as an open invitation and I took off after her as well.

We went back into a little area in the Men’s Shoe department where two Rackers were checking people out with iPhones.  Steve Jobs, you are the greatest man that ever lived!  I was now on deck for check out and avoided at least an hour wait.  Once it was my turn, one of the Rackers rang up all of my items, but when she tried to get my total, nothing would come up.  I told her I think that it meant I won a prize.  She didn’t get my joke, but actually did give me a prize by awarding me with an escorted walk to the front of the store where she suddenly got the total to come up and I was on my way out the door with a free tote bag to boot!

Rory modeling the track suit he picked out.

Probably the best part of this experience was walking outside with my bags in hand, the sun had broke through the clouds and it was now hot as hell.  Again, had it been sunny when I was in line, I wouldn’t have been there.

I was approached by a woman who asked me what was going on in the store and I told her it was the grand opening.  She wanted to know what kind of deals she could get and I asked her what she was looking for.  She asked me to price the outfit she had on.  Uh…Huh?  I told her her shirt would probably be $20 – that was enough for her.

There was still quite a long line to get in the store and as I walked past all the sweaty,  pending shoppers, I was asked by two different ladies if it was “worth it”?  What the hell?  Again, this isn’t the only Nordstrom Rack in San Diego.  If you have never been to one, I suggest you go visit one that isn’t overloaded with a gazillion people.  I gave a stock, ambiguous answer to both of them.  “It depends on what you are looking for.”  I’m sure they greatly appreciated my input.  I wasn’t trying to be a bitch, but it’s true.  I asked one lady what she was looking for and she said, “Huh, I don’t know.”  Well….





WTF Wednesday – There’s A Guy For That

I was watching the news last week and they had their own little WTF Wednesday (I don’t remember if it was a Wednesday or not) event.  The news reporter didn’t call it that, but she definitely implied it with her tone and her facial expressions.  I was just excited about having an award to give out.

If you think about childhood milestones that your child almost exclusively relies on their parents for what do you think of?  The big ones that popped into my head were walking, potty training, tying shoes, riding a bike, catching a ball and driving.  There’s a pretty big leap in there, but I’m not sure what I have to teach Kamryn how to do next.  We’ll figure that out when we get there.

Now you can pass off the responsibility of teaching your child how to ride a bike.  Some say that it’s just like hiring someone to teach your child to swim.  In a way, I can understand that logic, but history dictates that you learn to ride your bike from your parents.  And when it comes to life and death situations, I prefer to consult a professional.  Unless Michael Phelps fathered my children, I’ll be seeking out someone else to teach them to swim.

There’s also the argument of time.  Yes, it takes some time and it can be extremely frustrating, but there is a huge feeling of satisfaction when you see your child pedal away from you the first time on two wheels.  A couple of weekends is all it takes.

So unless you think there is a real possibility that you will end up directing your child to ride into traffic from the frustration, please don’t hire someone to teach your kid how to ride a bike.